Back to School Blues

The title of this article caught my eye When 'Super Mom' is super sad: Pressures haunt new parents, because I have been feeling like a poor imitation of a parent this week. Super-mom is not a title I’ve ever earned, but then again, I’ve never really aspired to be anything other than a good mom, which is lofty in itself.

School has been back in session for only four days, and I’m feeling defeated. And may I say, THANK YOU Facebook (and you too other social media that I refuse to participate in for now, ‘cause I know it’s more of the same), for never failing to make me feel inadequate.  Most recently, is the back to school debacle.  How have I failed thee?  Let me count the ways:

TAKING BACK TO SCHOOL PICS – I have none!  I took time off work to drop the kids off at school, and have nothing to show for it.  Isn’t that the point of being present?  To get the shot?  Where is my picture, my proof that my kids went back to school.  For my daughter the senior, I’m pretty sure she could care less and took care of it herself with a selfie.  But my son’s first day as a Freshman is undocumented!  I was so in the moment, so excited for him, with him, that I forgot to take the friggin picture!  Now by NOT posting on FB, I raise only questions:  Haven’t her kids gone back yet? Or (condescendingly) did she forget to capture this momentous event, one that will never be repeated? Fail.

PICKING UP SCHOOL SUPPLIES – Did we take care of it all?  I’ve asked, I’ve waited for notes, for lists, but besides a panicked request from my son to shop at 9:00 pm the day before he needed a variety of highlighters for first period, I just don’t know.  I’ve asked my girl when she needs to have her medical stuff updated for her internship at the hospital, and I get answers like Whenever or Soon. You know “whenever” will turn into “today” when she gets a good reason to get it done. I feel like a goalie, suited up, in ready stance, tensed for action, anxious for the moment the ball comes my way.  How long will I have to stay in this position, I just don’t know. I’m ready, people. Give me your demands now!  By the way, how do two stores sell out of college width ruled paper?  The second must-have, and I couldn’t deliver.  Fail.

CONNECTING TO THE  PARENT PORTAL – I did manage that for both kids in the end, but the time it took to attempt to connect one of the accounts remotely I’ll never get back.  There I was in Chicago, on-line, plugging in access codes and passwords I got from a live person at the school, and nothing worked!  I tried different combinations, different ways of entry. It wasn’t working. Not my password, not my son’s. When I promised him I was trying, I just got the look that said, Mom, you poor, digitally-challenged individual. You must be doing something wrong. Days later, when we got home, I verified the info. With no change to the process or the passwords, would you believe it worked for me?  It worked!  I should have celebrated.  But I was so pissed that it hadn't worked and I wasted so much time trying, I threw a fit. Mom is definitely menopausal.  Fail.

SIGNING AGREEMENTS TO WORK COLLABORATIVELY – What?  I’ve had to sign two agreements now from my son’s teachers.  Yesterday by signing, I agreed that I’ve read an eleven-page contract, including language about grading, make-ups and chain of command (wtf?).  So why do I feel bad?  Because I haven’t read it, probably never will read it, and yet I signed a document attesting to the fact that I'm a responsible, caring, involved parent who of course is interested to know what to expect from the class and teacher.  Fail.

ACQUIRING INFO ABOUT THE NEW CLASSES, TEACHERS AND CURRICULUM -

I’ll just say Fail right here!  No matter how I ask the question, I get the same response to “How was school?” --  It was fine.  Sometimes it's good.  Yes, mostly good.  Oh, but I did get some info the first day!  With the novelty and excitement, my kids must have forgotten to clam up, and actually shared with me and the hubby.  But the glimpse I got into their scholastic world is all I have to hold onto now.  I wait patiently for more tidbits to be carelessly dropped, so I can snatch them up like a rat. Fail!

This is only the beginning of the year, so it's bound to get worse before it gets better.  The next challenge is to remember the two back-to-school nights.  Maybe I won’t blow those dates... What are they again?